


Audiotapes

by HunterMay18



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Child Abuse, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Past Abuse, Plot Twists, Rape, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, brief mention of MPreg, gender identity shaming, liam listens to his tapes, liam tries to save louis, louis is sad, talk of death, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:41:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterMay18/pseuds/HunterMay18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liam stumbles across a worn down cardboard box in the attic of their home which is filled with audiotapes which contained the story of louis tomlinson's - a depressed teenager - life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this story is something very different than what I've written before, so bare with me. 
> 
>  
> 
> PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF IT TRIGGERS ANYTHING.

 

 

Liam sighed as he finally unloaded the last of the boxes from the truck. He set the last box into the living room before he smiled slightly from the fact that he was actually moving on; moving on from his old life, ready to start a new one. He thanked the moving crew as they placed the boxes all around the house for where they were labeled for.

He decided that he would want to look around the house some more, get more of a feel of what he has to deal with for a bit. He loved the house, it wasn’t too big, but not exactly small; it was perfect for him. He smiled as he reached the upstairs and he noticed a drawstring hanging from the ceiling. He doesn’t remember seeing this before, but he knew that it was the entry to an attic, so he pulled down the string and pulled out the stairs.

He carefully reached for the plug to get the light to turn on before he went up there in the dark. He coughed slightly from the dust, “I wonder when the last time someone was up here.”

Liam looked around and sighed at the boxes that were in there, he didn’t want to go through them, but he was curious. After he looked through a majority of the boxes, he came across a box that was more tattered then the others. He furrowed his eyebrows when he read the top of it, ‘Open after I’m gone.-Louis Tomlinson.’

“Who is this Louis Tomlinson?” Liam had asked himself as he opened the box and his eyes widened at all of the cassette tapes, pictures and videos of this stranger. They were all numbered and there was even a letter that wasn’t addressed to anyone, but left on the top.

Liam opened the letter and he had to sit down for a moment, how could anyone hurt this much?

_If you’re reading this now, I’m probably gone or you have no clue as to where I might be, but in this box is my story. Please be careful with what you are to see and hear, it’s not pretty._
    
    
      
    

_Anyways, this is my life, the life of Louis Tomlinson._


	2. Counting on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what y'all think about this so far! 
> 
> i know these chapters are short, but this is something different than what i'm used to writing... so please bare with me.

 

 

_"Hello, I'm Louis Tomlinson. You're probably wondering why I even started with these tapes and such, but I'll let you in on a little secret, I don't even know either. Well, I do, but you have to watch all the videos, listen to the tapes and read the letters to actually understand why," Louis sniffled as he recorded the tape, wiping his tears on his sleeves, "I'll tell you the first story, it actually happened a bit ago, which is why I'm still sniffling from the crying."_

_Louis took in a deep breath, "I'm gay, I accidentally came out to the school today and no one took it well. I was thrown around, teased and someone even tried to rape me on the way home. Today is the start of my life becoming worse than it already was. I know what you're probably thinking, my life isn't that bad, well I beg to differ. Stay awhile, won't you, find out everything you can about me and then you'll be changing your mind. And hey, maybe you can even save me, but who knows, I don't even think I want to be saved."_

_Louis looked down at the hands in his lap and sighed, "This is where I leave you for now, please don't give up on me, I'm counting on you_ _to save me. Whoever you are, you've got to have some sort of a heart, right? Well,_ _hopefully, maybe I'll meet you and maybe I don't. So, yeah, goodbye."_

The video cut off and it left Liam stunned, he fell back in the chair and let a few tears fall down his face. All Liam could think about was how upset Louis looked, he looked like his smile could have been breathtaking, but it wasn't in sight. He would have wished that he could have seen that smile, he wanted to see that smile, but it wasn't there. 

Liam went into the box once more and pulled out the first letter, he gasped at what it was filled with. He looked at the letter and it was covered in red specks, only Liam knew the real truth of what it was. He didn't want to think about it so he just went on to reading it.

 

_Today wasn't the greatest, It was the worst actually._

_As I was walking home, a group approached me and they did things to me. Things that made me come home and scrub myself so hard that I broke skin. I felt dirty and I still feel dirty. I can still feel them on my skin, its making my skin crawl. I didn't go to the police because they told me if I did they'll kill my only friend, Harry. I didn't want them to do that, I can't lose him._

_Anyways, I did come home and my mom took one look at me, snickered and left me to tend to myself all alone. She doesn't even care, she never did. I wish I could just end it all, but I can't, I won't. I just have to live through it._

_Still alive and barely breathing,_

_Louis Tomlinson_


	3. Living in Fear.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! DEPICTION OF SUICIDE, BULLYING, SELF HARM AND RAPE. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ IF ANY OF THE ABOVE WILL TRIGGER ANYTHING.

 

 

Liam couldn't bring himself to move from the attic, he just wanted to read and listen to everything that Louis had left. He couldn't stomach the thought of someone actually feeling like this. The same words Louis spoke, were the ones that his little brother had spoke, before he pulled the trigger. Liam was pleading for him to not, but he killed himself right in front of his family.

_"Joey please, we're begging you, don't do this!" Liam yelled as his parents were hysterically crying behind him. Joey was in the middle of the living room, crying hysterically with a gun pointed to his head, cocking it as he brought it up to his temple._

_"I've had enough! The teasing, the bullying, the beatings and no one believes me! I've even went to the police and they couldn't do anything about it. I'm done, I can't live like this anymore."_

_Liam gave him a pleading look, "Joey, we believed you because of every time you came home with bruises or cuts. The police were idiots because they didn't want to deal with a bullying case. But, please, I'll bring you to the police station in the next town, we'll get this sorted out. Please, just don't pull the trigger, you're much stronger than this!"_

_"Please, listen to Liam Joey, please!" Liam's mother pleaded as the tears were cascading down her face, she not wanting to lose her son to something like this._

_"That's not the point, the principle doesn't even care! The biggest fucking bullies are the stars of the baseball team, he won't expel them! I've tried to tell him and all he does is give them detention. Then their friends come after me and hurt me more, I can't go through that again!"_

_"Then we'll switch schools, anything!" Joey's father finally screamed out as he tried to make sense in all of this._

_"Joey, please, do-" And that's when Joey Lee Payne pulled the trigger, killing himself instantly. All Liam could hear were the scream that his mother let out, and the police sirens. The paramedics trying to save his baby brother, but nothing worked, he was pronounced dead at the scene. Only thirteen years old, he could have had a much better life, but because of the stupid kids he was living in a fear._

_But, the good news were, the two bullies that caused all his pain were arrested for harassment and assault. They were sent to a military school in America, while their posse were all expelled, and forced to do community service._

Liam wiped away the stray tear, and he re-read the letter. How could anyone even do that to someone? He knew what Louis had meant, he could sense it and it made his own skin crawl. He couldn't even think about the possibility of someone hurting others like that. What has this world come to, he thought. He didn't like how in this world there were people getting bullied on a daily basis and no one cared.

Liam found the video that went along with the letter, and he shakingly put it into the dvd player, putting in a mental note to listen to the audiotape later, if he needed to. He gasped at the figure he was looking at in the video, he was beautiful. He frowned when he noticed the dark bags underneath his puffy eyes, the puffiness was probably from crying so much, the prominent collar bones and how his blue eyes looked dull. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, and it made Liam sad.

He noticed how Louis kept scratching at his wrists, and he shed a tear when he saw all the scars that went up and down his arm. He wondered if there were scars other places too. He didn't want to think about it, he just wanted to know more about Louis, about how all of this even happened.

Liam didn't listen to anything Louis said in the video, he wanted to watch how he reacted to certain things, he was studying him. He noticed that he did a lot of things like what his brother did, and it frightened him to no end. He watched as Louis wouldn't always make eye contact with the camera, his eyes wandered, making him lose his train of thought. He noticed that he didn't smile, even if he tried to crack a joke, and he kept scratching at his wrists. And that's when Louis' starting crying, Liam knew that it was him talking about what those scumbags did. He paused the video and rewound it so that he would know everything that was happening.

_Louis sighed, he sat back on his bed, picking at the invisible thread on his shirt before he looked up at the camera._

_"I'm Louis, and well this is just a snippet of my life. If you wanted to know, then you're probably watching it right now, wondering why someone would want someone dead. Well, you tell me. I get told day in and day out by almost everyone at school to just kill myself. I don't even know how it started to be honest, probably because I'm the only gay student out at the school, but like it's 2014! There shouldn't be a problem with people being gay, but apparently it makes me an easy target." Louis scratches at his wrists harshly, scratching his arms, it's almost like he was stressing out so much it was making him itch._

_Louis stopped and looked at his hands, his eyes not looking at the camera as he continued, "I don't even know why I'm an easy target, like, I don't dress like those stereotypical gays apparently do. I just wear all black, my glasses are even black, there is never any color. My best friend, Harry, has tried to get me to wear some color, but he's tried and failed miserably. He sort of gave up with that idea, now he's trying to make me smile, says he hasn't seen me smile since I came out. And it was an accident by the way. I was talking to Harry in the hallway, who is actually gay and in the closet, but is dating the captain of the football time, but that's besides the fact. We were talking about something and apparently people like to eavesdrop and that's when it all changed. People started to call me names, Harry would be there to defend me, but whenever he wasn't around it would get worse. Sometimes it would end up with me in the hospital, and the doctors would plead to tell me who did it, but I just never wanted to press charges. Harry didn't speak to me for a week after it happened, he was upset with me since he knew who'd done it. I remember screaming at him and saying, "If you're so worried about this, then why don't you go to the police then!" He actually started crying and he walked away, he then didn't talk to me. That incident was a month after the bullying started, and also the first time I put a blade to my skin."_

_Louis looked down at his arms and he showed them to the screen, the scars literally went from the bottom of his wrist to a bit past his elbow, and there were a few on his upper arm, but not that much, "Harry doesn't know I do this, would absolutely freak if he found out. He doesn't even question when I wear hoodies, can never trust the weather here anyways. Umm, I feel like I'm rambling, but I need to tell you something, something that happened today."_

_Louis started crying, he wiped away his tears quickly before taking a shaking breath, and continuing, "I was walking home, Harry had gone home early because he had a doctor's appointment, he was complaining of stomach pains and all that, so anyways. I usually walk down the alley by the pub since my house is on the street right behind it, and its Friday. Friday the alley is usually filled with drunks and the hobos, but I tried to quickly go through it, then I tripped. I fell and as I was trying to get up, someone grabbed me and pulled me behind the garbage can, they reeked of beer and were completely pissed out of their mind. They kept telling me how fuckable I looked or that a pretty little thing like me shouldn't be walking home alone. I tried to speak but the bigger guy put his hand around my mouth and whispered into my ear, "Don't try to escape, I will kill you." So what was I supposed to do, I didn't want to die, so I just screamed my head off as he let the two guys repeatedly rape me over and over for an hour. There was so much blood and cum, I didn't know how I would make it out alive, but I'm here. The tore me up so bad that I should go the hospital, but then that would require me to press charges, but I don't even know who they are, so why should I even try? And what if it got out to the school? People would tell me I was begging for it, gagging for it, but I wouldn't ever."_

_Louis wiped away his tears, before he smirked, "The funny thing is, I'm in love with my best friend, and he won't ever see me as something more than his best friend. I can't even tell him that this happened, it would tear him up knowing that this happened the one day he couldn't walk me home. I can't tell anyone, but who ever is watching, if you go to the police with these, go ahead. I don't care what you do with them, but hey, maybe these tapes can help you save a life. And you never know, you might be able to save mine."_

_Louis looked at the clock behind him and sighed, "My mum is coming home soon with my little sister and brother, so this is where I end my first tape. Please, if you are watching this, like, actually watching this, find me. Find me and tell me that you watched them, tell me something that I'll believe because I'm starting to think that time is running out for me. See you in the next video."_

Liam was full on crying, he needed to find Louis, but first he needed to watch all the tapes. He needed to read all the letters and listen to all the audiotapes. He needed to find out everything there is to know about him before he tries to find him. So, he grabs the box and he brings it down into the living room, deciding to unpack everything for the living room now so that he could watch everything. He needed to hurry because he may not have much time or worse, he could already be too late. Liam hopes he can find him to save him.


	4. Facebook.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brief mention of rape and suicide.

 

 

Liam had decided that he wanted to listen to the audiotape next, he didn’t know how he would react to another video after the first one he watched. He cried the whole time that he was unpacking things, the visions of Louis was in his mind, and he couldn’t get them out.

“Why would someone so beautiful hurt so much?” He muttered quietly as he stroked the picture that Louis had left in the box. It was probably dated before all the bullying started because he looked genuinely happy. Liam had looked at the back of the photo and it said, _“I miss feeling like this, please save me x.”_

Liam frowned, but he promised himself that he would save Louis, even if it killed him. He decided to take a bit of a mental break and he went on his phone to check his Facebook. He scrolled through the endless amount of posts of his friends, drunken posts of friends, and then even played some of the cute videos of animals others shared.

He sighed and went to update his status, _“Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones I will try to fix you…”_ He knew that song had been overused when it came to saving people with issues like Louis’, but for the second time in his life he meant it one hundred percent. A few of his olds friends immediately liked the status, someone even commented on it saying _“Good song choice.”_ If only they knew that it was meant as a message to others, if they were having a hard time, he would be there for them. But, no one ever understood, not even his best friend when his brother passed away.

All he would hear was the constant sorry’s from people, the sad looks everyone had gave him. What even made him have to blink to believe it, was the one person who made his life hell, actually gave him a hug. The one person who he’d least expect it actually showed him something no one else did, and when he hugged him, that’s all it took for him to break. The boy, known as Andy, just rubbed his back as he cried into his chest. Andy sneered at anyone who tried to say something funny, and shouted at the ones watching.

Liam had made a friend that day, and he only then realized the reason. Andy felt for him, he knew his pain, his suffering and questions. Andy’s younger sister had committed suicide a year prior when her boyfriend had raped her. Andy had been furious when he found out, but he was too late to try to help her, she had already taken the blade to her skin. Liam was thankful for Andy, never did he tell him sorry, just that it gets better.

Liam clicked on Andy’s profile, and smiled at the photo he shared on his timeline. It was of Andy and his little sister when they were younger, seeing as today was her birthday. He shared a heartfelt message, that even made Liam shed a tear. _“Today would have been your 21st birthday, baby girl. I miss you each and every day. I miss your laugh, your smile, your everything. Rest in Peace Tabs, Andy loves you with all his heart. I’ll be raising my glass for you later.”_ Liam liked the photo and commented a heart, thinking that was good enough to show that he was there for him, like he had been all these years.

Liam then thought for a second, what if he tried to find Louis’ Facebook. He gets his laptop, not wanting to use up his data on his phone, and went to search for him. He typed in his name and a few popped up, but the first hit was him. Liam clicked on it and went to the profile picture, it was dated almost three years ago. Far before the time that he started to get bullied.

He clicked off the picture and went to see what he could see, when something caught his eye. His last post was dated a few months ago, but it startled him, it was a quote that made Liam’s heart wrench in his chest.

_“You know that I’m unhappy._   
_You know that I’m depressed._   
_You know that I’m suicidal._   
_But, still you act like_   
_everything is fine.”_

Liam went into the box and he started to search, he needed to know when the last tape was dated. He cursed loudly when he noticed it was the same date as the quote. Liam’s eyes widened, “What if he already killed himself?” He whispered quietly to himself, but he wasn’t going to give up. He needed to know everything that Louis was, what made him tick or laugh, so that if there was the possibility of him meeting him, he’d know what to do and what to avoid.

Liam went back to the post and noticed there was only one nice comment, from a lad known as Harry Styles, “Must of been the best friend,” He commented on it as he read it and really it was as if time stopped.

_“Don’t you even dare Louis. You are better than everyone. Don’t listen to what those assholes say, you are meant to be here in this world. Those people don’t matter, what matters is that you are still here. Please don’t, I’ll be over later. I love you.”_

Liam frowned, he knew the ‘I love you’, was probably a friendly thing and it probably upset Louis to no end. He had known from the video that Louis was in love with Harry, and Harry would never see his as anything other than his best friend. He wanted to know if something happened, but he decided to click on Harry’s page and noticed he was frequently on.

The last post was just a few hours ago, it was a picture of him and Louis laughing with their heads thrown back. Harry’s arm was around his shoulder with the caption, _“I love you buddy, don’t you forget that.”_

“Fuck, I need to find out if he’s still alive. But, first, I need to finish the tapes and--fuck, I hope I have enough time.”


	5. 4. Circles.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this would have been posted yesterday but since the sight was down I couldn't. 
> 
>  
> 
> anyways, brief mention of child abuse and gender identity shaming...and louis refers to the character as 'him' even though they are actually a 'she' now, but in the next chapter he'll explain the reasoning behind that, so don't you worry.

 

 

Liam felt like he wasn't making any progress, as if he was just going around in circles. He wanted answers so bad. He even thought of the idea to search for an obituary, but he was refraining himself from doing that. He wanted to learn about Louis before he went to see if he was actually dead.

He found his old stereo to listen to the audio tape, he didn't know what was in store for him, and he really didn't want to find out. But, he had to.

_"Hello again, I know what you're thinking, why DVD's and audiotapes? Well, I figured with this I could record some things with out people knowing. It's a great plan, well at least I hope. So, here a bit of a snippet of why my mother hates me. And it's seriously the worst thing in the world."_

_There was some rustling heard and a few whispers from Louis, "What do you want?" A woman's voice is heard, and it sounds like she's mad for some reason._

_"I wanted to ask you if you would let me go see dad?" Louis asked in a whisper, almost too quiet for the tape to pick it up._

_"Why would you want to go see that freak?"_

_"Because I miss him, he's my father!"_

_"But you're the fucking reason why he left me! If you didn't go and open up your big fat mouth your father would still be here! He'd still be a fucking man but you had to go and make him have this realization to come clean!"_

_"That was not my fault! He knew this whole fucking time that I was gay and he never said anything, especially to you! He waited until I came clean with myself before he came out, and still then it took him six months to come clean!"_

_"Don't you dare raise your voice to me, how dare you." A loud smack was heard and a whimper coming from Louis, "You are not allowed to see your father or I will ship you off to school in the Netherlands."_

The tape ended there and Liam was shocked, how could someone even think of hitting their own son? Just because her husband decided to come clean after Louis did doesn't mean that it's his fucking fault. His own son gave him the courage to come out, and that should be applauded, not frowned upon.

Liam rewound the tape, so if he did need evidence of the reason why Louis committed suicide they could just listen to it. He sighed as he went to get the other note and he read it slowly.

_If you're reading this, I guess you haven't grown tired of me yet? Well, I hope not._

_So, I guess you listened to the audiotape? I'll explain all of that in the next video because it's better to have me explain it in words rather than trying to write it down. It's really stupid to be honest. But, she's my mother and what ever she says goes._

_I just wish that everything was different, that I wouldn't be writing this as a call for help._

_Just for future reference, the only time I will have an audiotape is for proof of something that no one else believes. So, I think there will only be a few, seeing as I only want to do at least ten videos. The videos will be much longer as I get into the swing of things and these letters much smaller. I want you to see how I change, not imagine, want you to see me. I don't even like writing letters, but here I am writing to someone I may actually never meet._

_Anyways, something happened today, something big. It involves my best friend, but I'll tell you in the video because it's just that big. I know, you're probably screaming at me for all these holes in this letter, but stick around and you'll see._

_Still alive, but barely breathing._

_Louis x._

Liam groaned, "Why can't he ever catch a break?!" He started to go for the next dvd when something caught his eye. It was another a stack of photographs, and it intrigued him to no end.

A sticky note was covering the first photo, _"Look at these when you need to smile x."_

Liam decided to look at just one, and he was happy that he did. It was of Louis when he was around ten, smiling wide as his father smeared icing all over his face. It looked to be around Christmas time, so maybe Louis' birthday was in December. Liam smiled at the picture, how it effortlessly depicted Louis genuinely happy. You could see that it wasn't force, it was real. Liam smiled and he left the photo out, leaving the rest for when he starts to dig deeper.

He decided to put in the next dvd, and he sat back on the couch and boy he wasn't expecting Louis to look like that. His eye was black and blue and you could see the hand print on his face. He looked dead, emotionless, like he didn't even care anymore.

_"I guess it's safe to say my time here is limited."_


	6. 5. Limited.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brief mention of mpreg, but it's never going to show up in the story again... only if people ask for it.  
> also, another mention of abuse, suicide, assault and gender identity shaming.  
> read at your own risk.

 

 

To say that Liam was a bit startled to hear that come out of Louis’ lips was a bit of an understatement, now if you said that Liam paused the video and rewound it five times to make sure he heard it right, you’d be spot on.

“ _I guess it’s safe to say my time here is limited,” Louis mumbled as he wiped away his tears that were falling down his face, “Fuck, I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but here I am crying.” Louis reach around the camera and grabbed a tissue to blow his nose, “Sorry, it’s been a rough couple days, terrible actually. I don’t even know where to start to be honest, maybe the reason why my mother hates me? Yeah, I’ll start with that.”_

_Louis took in a breath and let it out slowly to calm himself down, wiping his eyes with his sweater, he finally spoke, “So, about two years ago I had finally come clean to my family about me being gay. My father took me into his arms and told me that he was proud of me for being true to myself, it was the happiest moment of my life, but my mother didn’t take it very well. She stood quiet, it was as if she was refraining from doing something to me because of how my father took it. She never showed any emotion for it, and then a couple hours later was when I realized why. Throughout the house you heard her screaming with my father about me. Saying I was an abomination, and the devil’s child, it hurt me to no end that she thought of me like that. She even yelled to my father to have me go to this camp to fix me,” Louis had used the air quotes around ‘fix me’, because honestly there was nothing to be fixed, “But, my father wasn’t having any of it. He actually threatened to leave with me that night if she didn’t go into my room and tell me she loved me. She was so shaken when she came in and I could hear the lack of emotion, the lie in her voice. She never really cared about me, saying I was some drunken accident that she didn’t even want to keep. But, I accepted it seeing as I was a little younger and naive than what I am now.”_

_Louis looked down on his lap and continued talking, “What happened six months later would mark when my life started to become a living hell. My father had gotten all of us into the kitchen and told us that he wasn’t comfortable in his own skin. Seeing as I knew what he was talking about, I knew what was coming, but my mother didn’t. She told him to repeat it so many times before he started screaming, “What do you mean you want to be a woman?” “Do you not love me enough to stay a man?” And the list could go on and on. I just sat there waiting for them to stop arguing, my younger siblings not understanding what’s happening just left the kitchen to go watch cartoons and that’s when it all happened.”_

_“She yelled so loud that the next country could hear her, “It was you! It’s all your fucking fault he’s like this! If only you had kept your big fat mouth shut he’d still want to be with me!” My father looking at her and he was fuming, “Don’t you fucking dare put the blame of this on him, I’ve always never been comfortable in my skin, there was always something missing. He only gave me the courage to come clean. I’ve been living in the darkness for far too long and I figured since he can come clean then so can I. And seriously, when did I tell you I didn’t want to be with you?” Louis sighed before he continued to recite everything off of memory, “My mother had actually started laughing before she said, “You honestly think I’ll stay with a freak like you? You are to get your things out of this house by tomorrow when I get home from work or I will burn it all.” My father was so angry with her, but he knew that if he didn’t leave she’d probably do something to me. So, that was the last time I saw him in our house, he left a couple hours later. My mother filed for a divorce and asked for full custody, and she was granted it.”_

_Louis actually laughed for once, but it wasn’t a good thing, “She only got the custody because she had a judge who was very religious and didn’t like the idea of any of the children being around him. Even though I’ve gotten to the age where I can actually go live with him, she won’t let me, I’ve tried and it only ended up with me in the hospital. She fucking tripped her own son down the stairs. Anyways, my father still calls me and texts me every so often, and he’s actually really happy. And if you’re wondering, he actually goes by she now, but for the sake of me explaining it was easier. She is now the proud new owner of her own set of boobs and a vagina, and you’re probably so confused as to why I’m telling you this, it’s because I never saw her any happier when she got the change. She always put me before herself and I was actually happy she did this for herself. And if you’re wondering, her name is Ashley Tomlinson, and she still has me call her Dad even though I think it’s weird. But, then he goes, “You’re not calling me mum, so find something else to call me.” I literally laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe, so I just call him Ashley when she’s being annoying and dad when I need to talk her about boy stuff. I just wish I could see her more, I miss her and she always knew how to make me laugh or smile. I now have to be careful with contacting her because the last time I got a black eye and a broken phone all because of my mother.”_

_Louis wiped away the tears and the snot, “Alright, so next thing I need to talk to you about is Harry.” Louis took a shaky breath, “Harry came into school today, he had been out of school for a week and no one knew why. I hadn’t seen his boyfriend in the halls either, so I was very confused. He comes in and his eyes were so dull, it was like the life was sucked out of him, and I didn’t know what happened. He was in crutches and had a large gash on his head, it wasn’t pretty. I took one look at him and he started crying and kept repeating something that I couldn’t quite catch because he was smooshed into my chest. All I could make out was ‘fault’ and then I lifted his head from my chest and I wiped his tears and asked him what happened. He, uh, told me that he had gone to the doctors and he found out he was pregnant. His boyfriend didn’t take it all too well, told him that he should get an abortion. But, Harry didn’t want to have an abortion, he wanted to raise the kid with or without him. So, really the best thing for him to do was to respect Harry’s wishes, but nope, he decided to beat Harry so hard that he had a miscarriage. He was pushed off a hill and landed awkwardly on his leg, and it was fractured really badly. He cut his head on a rock and if it wasn’t for someone taking a walk in the area he would have bled out.”_

_Tears were pouring out of his eyes, “I really don’t know how someone could have done that to anyone. It’s their body, their rights he should have respected it. But, I felt a bit sad because Harry didn’t tell me, and I asked him why and he said that he was going to after he spoke to his ex boyfriend. Then he was stuck in the hospital for three days and at home for the rest of the week, and when he wasn’t trying not to cry, he was trying not to kill himself for all of this. That literally left me shocked, I just took him into my arms and I told him. “If you stay, I stay.”_

_“That made Harry cry so hard, he almost made us both fall to the ground, he didn’t want to be the only reason why I was still here. But, it’s something, right? I’m still thinking that my life here is limited, unless someone has something to do or say that could change it. Anyways, back to Harry, when he reached the hospital the police were already there to question him and he outright told them what happened. His boyfriend was found trying to leave the city and he was put behind bars, I don’t know how long though since Harry still has to testify. But, I’ll be there to help him every step of the way, as he is still here to help my fight my battle.”  
_

_Louis sighs, “I think that’s everything I have to tell you, if I forgot something I’ll just add it to the next video. Hope you actually make it to that video and haven’t given up, see you soon I guess.”_

“What the fuck? How could anyone even do that to someone? Fucking hell, I feel so bad for Harry.” Liam sighed, this video was just too much for him to handle all at once, he really needed to get out of the house. And just as he was about to call Andy, there was a knock on his door.

“Yo Payne, let me in!” Andy’s voice bellowed through the door, making Liam just shake his head.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Liam yelled back as he opened up the door only to be engulfed into a big hug.

After the hugged, Liam let him in and Andy looked around, “This is a really nice place, it’s very vintage and I like it.”

Liam nodded, “Got it for a good price too.”

Andy nodded, “So, want to go out tonight, have a few drinks?”

Liam shrugged, “Sure, was actually going to call you, needed a break from unpacking and such.”

“Alright, well change into something less sweaty and then we’ll go. Maybe shower?”

Liam shook his head, “I showered like this morning, I’ll be fine.”

“Suit yourself.”

Liam chuckled as he went into his bedroom and found the box of nice-ish clothes that he owned. He put on a black shirt, plaid button up and some jeans. He slipped on his converse and sprayed on some cologne before he went back to Andy who was looking at the picture that he had left on the couch.

“Liam, who’s this?” He asked as he shown him the photo that he looked at before.

“I’ll tell you over food, it’s a long story.”

Andy nodded, “Alright, we could probably go to like Applebee’s or something like that.”

“Yeah, definitely. So, how are you? How’s the family?” Liam asked as they walked out of the house

Andy sighed as he got into the driver’s seat of the car, “Today’s been a bit hard, but we’re okay.”

Liam nodded, “Still want to drink to her?”

Andy looked to Liam, glassy eyed, “Of course buddy.”

 

**

 

Andy and Liam sat down at the bar in Applebee’s, beer set down in front of them. Andy taking his drink and lifting it up, “To Tabitha.” Liam clanked his drink to Andy’s and then both took a drink, Andy smiling as he remember’s all the wonderful times he had with her.

They ordered a few appetizers as Liam grew a bit quiet, “So, who was that boy?”

Liam took in a deep breath, “His name is Louis Tomlinson, and I’m going to try to save him.”

 


	7. 6. Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know what this chapter is.... but this is just mainly dialogue and i don't even know what i did.

 

 

“Wait, you mean, oh fuck,” Andy muttered quietly, “Tell me everything, now.”

Liam sighed, “Alright, but can we order dinner first? I’m starving.”

Andy nodded, “Sure, I’m guessing it will be a long dinner?”

Liam shrugged, “We could always continue at mine if necessary, but I don’t really think it will be that long of a story.”

Andy nodded as the waiter came over to take their dinner orders, and Andy also had ordered more beer.

The new beer was set down and Andy took a sip before he turned to Liam, “Tell me who this Louis Tomlinson is and why are you so caught up in saving him.”

“He reminds me so much of my brother, the videos he made of himself, I literally see everything my brother did. Some of the things I never took notice until the last minute. The scars that litter his body, the emotions he just gives in each, and the stories. The stories he says, they are horrible, I wouldn’t wish half of those things on to my own worst enemy. I’m actually surprised that he lasted as long as he did.”

“Has he talked about killing himself?”

“Not necessarily, but did mention in one of the music videos that he thinks his time is limited. I’m so scared that by the time I get to the end of the video he’s already gone, everything that I’m doing wouldn’t mean anything.”

“Dude, have you even checked the paper for an obituary?”

Liam deadpanned, “No, because that would be too easy. I actually want to know his story, so that if it were the case. I could bring the information to the police and tell them why he did what he did. I don’t want to just show up without knowing everything, and then they could say I’m hiding something, which I’m not.”

“Fine, I just thought I would ask, seeing as you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“Well, I did just move out of my parents house on Monday, I’ve only been in the new house for three days, so I’m just tired from all the unpacking I’ve been doing.”

“And the fascination with someone that actually may not be alive.”

Liam glared at Andy, “And your point is?”

Andy held his hands up in defense, “Nothing, I was just saying something that could be true, no worries.”

Liam sighed, “I’m sorry, I’ve become so attached.”

“And that you may be in love with him?” Andy added in quietly enough for Liam to hear.

Liam looked over to him, “I don’t even know what I feel to be honest, there’s just a weight on my heart like I can’t explain it.”

“So, you may not be in love with him, maybe you just don’t know what to do. Like you’re heart is steering you towards him, while your head is trying to tell you that this is only going to hurt you in the end.”

“I don’t even know.”

“You know what I said was true, but.”

“But, what?”

“I’ll help you.”

“You’ll help me?”

“Help you with this whole thing, even if it turns out he’s no longer alive, I’ll help put the pieces back together.”

“Pieces?”

Andy sighed, “You and I both know that this will kill you, so I’ll help put you back together like I did when you lost your brother.”

Liam nodded, “Fine, okay, you can help.”

Andy placed his hand on Liam’s back and rubbed it soothingly, “I’m always going to be here to pick up the pieces, no matter how hard it might be.”

Liam smiled, “Thank you.”

Andy chuckled, “No need to thank me, just what friends do to help their friend.”

  
  
  



	8. 7. Siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, sorry for the wait...anyways enjoy.

****

 

 

Liam and Andy were sitting in the living room of Liam's home, trying to think of what to do next. Liam had sat with Andy as they watched, listened and read the letters, videos and audiotapes that Liam had already saw. Andy wanted a bigger feel as to what he's getting himself into, so Liam offered to just that.

"I think we should listen to the next audiotape?" Andy said as they had finished the last tape that Liam had watched, which made Liam cry harder and Andy just sitting there emotionless.

"Only if his letter says there is one, but if there isn't, we'll just watch the next video."

Andy nodded and he pulled out the next letter, he set it between them too as Andy started reading.

_Well, I guess if you're reading this then you've come far. I'm pretty sure that there are going to be five more tapes, maybe one audiotape, I'm not sure. But, I don't want to keep you longer than you have to, you know? I don't want to force you into keeping up with this if you don't plan on doing anything to try to help save me._

_But, hey, at this point I may not want anyone to save me at this point anymore._

_Anyways, the next video will be some insight with my siblings and why they hate me._

_Still alive and barely breathing,_

_Louis x._

"There is seriously something so fucked up with this world, like I don't understand someone as sweet as Louis have to go through things like this is beyond me."

"I wish I knew the answer to that," Liam mumbled as he put in the next tape.

_Louis looked directly into the camera and sighed, "I guess this is where I tell you why my siblings hate me, but even after I tell you, you'd be thinking that I'm the only sane one around here. Which, in my opinion I actually am."_

_"I have two siblings, a sister and brother. My sister's name is Breanne and my brother's name is Jacob. They are twins and are turning eleven in a month. I don't think they understand a lot of things, they used to look up to me. Jacob would come to me all the time asking for help, but then everything changed. It all changed when I came out, they thought that since my mother didn't like me, that it would give them the idea to hate on me too. They do everything in their power to spite me."_

_Louis sighed, "Just like one time I needed to use the car to get to talent show since Harry was going to be in it. My mother had already told me I could use it, but right as I was about to take the keys, Jacob wanted to go to the movies. I even offered to bring them and I'll come pick them up, but Jacob threw a fit. So I had to walk to school, in the pouring rain. I was lucky I had my gym clothes in my locker or I would have gotten sick. Harry ended up letting me sleep over his because he knew that my mum would try to do something to me because of the car thing, even though my brother was being annoying about it."_

_"My sister, she doesn't really do much to make it seem like she hates me, but she doesn't do anything to stop it. She usually stays quiet, but I always catch her smiling at me sometimes, before she turns away. I really do think that she doesn't care that I'm gay or that my mum hates me, she's probably just confused as to why my mom does these things." Louis just looked over at the clock, "They'll be home soon, maybe it won't be too bad today, I did everything my mum asked me too, so maybe I'll be let off the hook. But, knowing her she'll make an excuse to yell at me."_

_Just as Louis was going to continue, his phone buzzed and his face lit up, "It's Harry, he's asking me how I am and if I'd want to go to a movie and maybe sleep over his house later. And of course I'll say yes." Louis was quick to reply before he put his eyes back on to the camera, "I need to be completely honest with you, right now Harry is the only thing that's keeping me here, keeping me happy. If I didn't have him, I really don't know where I'd be. He's my rock."_

_Louis heard a car door slam, "Well, I need to go. I'll see you in the next video."_

Andy looked at Liam, "That is seriously some fucked up shit, just because his mother doesn't like him doesn't mean his siblings should automatically hate him too."

Liam nodded, "Well, with kids that age they will believe anything that their parents tell them since they think it's the right thing."

"When half of it is stupid shit."

"Well, it's not like we can go into the video and hug Louis to tell them he'll be alright."

"True, but it would make it so much easier if that was possible."


	9. 8. Past or Present?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO, y'all have to figure out if this chapter already happened or if it is in real time... the next chapter will be the last chapter before the first epilogue...
> 
> some slight sexual content..

****

 

 

_He sighed as he woke up in the early morning, he didn't want to move from where he was sleeping. The figure next to him stirred slightly before pushing themselves more into his side. The hot breath was making him shiver slightly, but he tried to wiggle his way out of his grasp, but apart of him didn't want to move._

_He looked to the clock and noticed that it was half past three, he had to be up in a few hours, but right now he didn't even want to. He wanted to stay in bed, stay in bed for the rest of his life if it meant that he could sleep next to him._

_The anxious boy wiggled out of the grasp, he got up off the bed and he decided to wander to the backyard to look at the sky. He never really did this, but recently he's come to realize that he needed hope, hope that he could get through the tough times and not regret some of his decisions._

_He found a place on the grass to look up at the sky, he laid down carefully and sprawled himself out. He made shapes with each of the constellations that he could identify himself, while just making up things in his head when he got frustrated with himself when he couldn't figure out the others. As the boy was looking up at the stars he didn't hear the footsteps of the other boy come outside to sit next to him._

_"You alright?" The figure asked, still evidently sleepy from his voice, carding his fingers into boy's hair._

_"Yeah, I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep and you're like a space heater so I was over heating."_

_"Sorry.."_

_"You don't need to apologize for that, love. Not your fault."_

_"That's not what I was apologizing for..." He trailed off, hoping the boy laying on the grass would get the picture._

_Just as the boy was thinking, the past couple hours flashed through his mind, and it broke him into pieces._

**_The only sounds that were heard were the heavy breathing from both boys as they rutted against each other. Their clothes were off and they were grinding against each other trying to get their release._ **

**_"Fuck, feels so good." The boy on top of the other spoke in a loud whisper as he arched his back----_ **

_"Fuck you," The boy cried as he ran into the house and locked himself into the bathroom. He started to cry hysterically and he didn't know how he would be able to calm himself down. "Why was he sorry?" He thought, what did he do wrong? Did he not like him like he did?_

_Or was it all a mistake?_

_The crying boy searched the bathroom and sighed when he found a razor. He got the blades out of the razor quickly, he was about to start cutting his wrists when there was a frantic knock._

_"Louis, please don't. I didn't mean it the way you think." Louis stopped and figured he let Harry listen to his explanation. "I just meant I'm sorry because I felt like I was taking advantage of you. I don't want you to think that I'm that type of person." Harry laid his head on the door, "Please, open the door so we can talk. Don't hurt yourself, please?"_

_Louis took a shaky breath and he left the razors on the floor and opened the door. Harry gave him a slight smiled before he led him into the bedroom._

_"Louis, you know I love you and that I'd do anything for you. But, what happened tonight, I felt like it was only a one time thing. It's nothing against you, I just feel like I'd rather have you as my best friend in the whole world, rather than my boyfriend. It doesn't mean that I don't like you, I'm just trying to sort myself out with everything and I don't want to hurt you. I know I shouldn't have initiated what happened with what you have been going through, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I can do to make it better."_

_Louis sighed and looked up at Harry with glassy eyes, "You love me?"_

_Harry nodded, "I've always loved you, Louis."_

_"But, not the way that I love you?"_

_Harry let out a breath, "Right now I really don't know what I'm feeling to be honest, but I do know what happened tonight was really good. Don't think that you did something wrong, okay?"_

_Louis tried to get that thought out of his head, but he couldn't, he did however still nodded his head to Harry. "It's alright, can we just go back to sleep? We still have school in the morning," Louis spoke as he let out a loud yawn, making part of what he said a bit incoherent._

_Harry nodded, he kissed Louis' forehead, laid down on the bed and opened up his arms for Louis. Louis accepted his embrace and fell asleep instantly._

_If only Harry knew how much it broke Louis that the smaller boy was just aching to do something to relieve the pain. But, he didn't want to leave Harry's embrace, even if he was dead._

 


	10. 9. End of a Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry for the long wait... but here is the final chapter before the two epilogues. They will be posted within the week. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> -Hunter xx.
> 
>  
> 
> _WARNING DEPICTIONS OF SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, IMPLIED EATING DISORDER. READ AT OWN RISK_
> 
>  
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

Liam and Andy had managed to watch and read almost every single tape and letter, and listened to the very few audiotapes when they were finally down to just one letter and a video tape.

"Liam, this isn't healthy. You've spent every waking minute trying to find out everything about this boy. You either find him or we stop."

"I can't, I need to know the truth. I need to know what happened. I need to know what's on the last tape. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I don't finish," Liam started to ramble, making Andy having to slap him out of it.

"Liam, just shower first, you haven't showered in three days. And eat something. I'm not letting you watch the last one until then."

Liam grumbled a few curses at Andy as he walked to his bathroom and showered. He finally shaved his scruff on his face and sighed as he was finally all smoothly shaven. Once Liam came back down the stairs, Andy had ordered chinese food and they ate in silence, it was very weird to say the least.

Liam sighed, "I'm sorry for getting caught up in this whole thing."

Andy shook his head, "It's no problem, I would have too. I was just getting really concerned with your wellbeing.

Liam nodded, "I understand. It won't happen again."

Andy just shook his head, "You and I both know that this will happen with something else eventually."

Liam shrugged and just sat down on the couch as Andy popped in the last video tape, but not before they read the very last letter which brought tears to their eyes and it made everything all too real.

_I think this will be the last that you ever hear from me._

Liam's eyes kept going over that same sentence over and over again. He didn't want it to be true, he wanted this to be a dream, he wanted to rewind the past few minutes and pretend he didn't just read that.

_I can't take it anymore. The constant abuse from everyone, even from people I don't know, I can't take it anymore. I want this all to be over and I know I can't even bring myself to doing it. But, maybe if I think about it long enough then I'll just do it._

_Pills? Maybe._

_Cutting? Possibly._

_Jumping? Too scared._

_Drowning? Not even possible._

_See? I don't even think I'll be to do any of those things, they make my skin crawl at the thought of it._

_This letter is very short, sorry for all the tear stains, the video will explain everything better. Maybe you can be the one that saves me._

_Almost gone,_

_Louis Tomlinson._

Liam saw the writing had been smudged a lot on the paper, making his eyes tear up. He wiped his eyes quickly as he put on the last video tape.

_Louis sniffled as he focused the camera, he was wearing his glasses and his blue eyes looked dull. His collarbones were very prominent and it looked like he hadn't slept for days and his skin was a sickly pale color._

_"This is my last video, I don't want to live anymore. Everyone makes my life a living hell and I don't feel wanted. I don't feel appreciated. I feel like everyone wants me gone, even Harry," Louis spoke quietly, his eyes watering more and a tear trickled down his face, which he was quick to wipe away._

_"Ever since that incident that happened, Harry's been acting weird around me and I don't know what I did. He's like hesitating when he's saying things and I don't know what to fucking do anymore. I just want my best friend back." His voice cracked at the last bit of him speaking._

_Louis then did the unthinkable, he rolled up his sleeves and showed the angry red lines on both arms. The scars went passed his elbows, and he scratched at them violently opening up the scabbed cuts._

_He sniffled, again, "My skin itches to go deeper, and deeper. I want to go deeper, but every time there is something that tells me to stop. Not to go deeper, but enough to where it scars." Louis frowned as looked at his arms, they weren't bleeding as much as he wanted, so he scratched harder until he was sobbing uncontrollably._

_"I just want to die! I don't want to be here anymore! It's hurting me so much that I can't be happy. I just want to be fucking happy for a change." Louis managed to scratch his arms so bad that he actually reopened a recent cut badly._

_"Louis! Louis! Open the fucking door!" A strange voice was heard through the door as they pounded on the door. It was a man's voice, but a young man's voice._

_Louis froze, but didn't move as the stranger got into the bedroom only to reveal a very sad Harry. "Fuck, Louis. Why?"_

_Louis frowned and just shrugged as he ran a finger over the blood on his arms. Harry sighed, "We've been over this before, when you feel like hurting yourself you need to call me. Let's get you cleaned up." And Louis didn't protest._

_Harry looked at the camera and sighed before speaking, "Whomever is watching this, please help." And it went black._

"Holy shit," Andy blurted out and Liam was motionless. He was crying quietly at a boy that he fell in love with through a tv screen.

"I need to find him, I need---wait! I have a phone book why didn't I just look there before?!" Liam bolted for his kitchen cabinet and he frowned when he couldn't find any Tomlinson's that sounded familiar, but he did come across a Harry Styles.

He quickly dialed the number while his hands violently shook, his heart was beating out of his chest, and there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Yes, is this a Harry Styles?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"My name is Liam Payne, I'm calling on behalf of a Louis Tomlinson."

Liam heard a heavy sigh on the other end, "What about him?"

"I found his box. I watched, listened and read everything."

Harry gasped before uttering one word that would make Liam's heart stop, _"Finally."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Epilogue #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the first of the two epilogues, and please prepare yourself for this will make you cry because i'm over here crying. I should **warn** you that this chapter has depictions of **suicidal thoughts, suicide, death and self harm.**
> 
> This epilogue is the one I had planned from the beginning but I knew I needed an alternative ending for those who still want Louis to survive. So, please don't get mad at this one when i really only planned one epilogue until recently.
> 
> Please enjoy and thank you to everyone who's read this story over the past couple of months.
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> Hunter xx.
> 
> [[will come back later and edit this chapter]]

 

_After Harry had found Louis filming himself, Louis had told him his plan of trying to get someone to help him. Harry told him that it won't ever work but Louis just denied that._

_"How do you know? Even if they can't save me, I could possibly help someone else!"_

_Harry rolled his eyes, "What do you mean? How can these depressing tapes help anyone else?"_

_"Because it can show them what happens to people like us. People who don't have the love they deserve. It could open their eyes to what's happening to them. It could potentially save them!"_

_"But, what about you? Don't you need saving too?"_

_Louis shrugged, "I feel like my life has come to an end Harry. I don't want to continue on living like this. Living with the abuse and the constant reminder that you can't love me the way that I do."_

_Harry sighed and grabbed Louis' face to look at him in the eyes, "We've been over this before, I do love you, but I love you too much that being together wouldn't really do much. You're like my brother who I love dearly and would die if I lost you."_

_Louis sighed, "I know that Harry. But, please can you get me out of my house? I don't want to be there anymore."_

_Harry nodded, "Want me to help you move in with me?"_

_Louis smiled, "Please? And I signed myself up for some outpatient therapy, maybe that can help."_

_Harry kissed his forehead, "I'm so proud of you."_

_**_

_It wasn't working, the therapy was only making everything worse. Louis didn't want to be here anymore. He knew that Harry wouldn't be home for a few hours so he decided to sit on the floor of his bedroom, staring at the picture of him and Harry on the floor with him. He left him a letter, along with the many tear stains on the paper._

_The tears were still running freely as he stared at the pills his doctor gave him, to help with his anxiety and depression, but they made him feel nothing. He wanted to still be able to feel something, but nothing when he took the pills._

_He opened up the pill bottle and he poured out the rest of them into his hand. He stared at them before he started to take them one by one. He felt like his body was buzzing, his body started to go numb and his vision started to become spotty. Louis laid down on the floor as the effects of taking too many started to course through his veins._

_Harry had decided to come home early, but he didn't expect to find his best friend fighting for his life in his house. He dropped to his knees as Louis' eyes stared at him emotionless, tears pouring down his face, "I'm sorry. I couldn't handle it. I'll always love you."_

_Harry started to sob, "Please, no! Louis please hang in there please. Don't give up."_

_Louis coughed slightly, smiling, "I already gave up a long time ago."_

_Harry dialed 911 with shaky hands and they were on their way, "Please, I can't live without you. I don't know what I'd do without you, I'm sorry Lou. I love you, I wanted to be with you, but I was so fucking scared that I would cause you so many problems. I'm so fucking sorry, I can't- please! Don't close your eyes!"_

_Louis looked up at Harry, "I'll always be with you, right in your memories and in your heart." Louis' eyes rolled into the back of his head and his body started to convulse from all the medication that was in his body._

_"No! Louis!" Harry turned him over to the side when his mouth started to foam, and he just sobbed as the paramedics shot him with something to get him stabilized. They intubated him and then rushed him to the hospital._

_But, it was too late, his body was shutting down even after they pumped his stomach. The damage was already done._

Liam thought that it would be a happy ending, but it wasn't. After Harry had spoke to him and set up the meeting, he received a phone call. A phone call that no one ever wants to receive.

As soon as he answered his phone, and heard Harry sniffling, he knew the worst.

"Harry? Is everything okay?" Liam's heart was beating out of his chest as he heard him sobbing on the other end of the phone call.

"I'm sorry Liam, I'm so sorry," Harry kept repeating it over and over again, Liam's heart shattered because he knew the inevitable was true. Louis was gone and there was nothing he could do.

"Harry, please calm down. What happened?"

"H-he took pills, lots and lots of pills. They got him to the hospital but he slipped into a coma. He's not going to wake up. His body is too damaged, majority of his organs have shut down."

"Is he?"

Harry sniffled before he replied, "They are keeping him comfortable until his grandparents get here. His stupid fuck of a mother isn't even here, his father, well mother is here and she's not taking it too great. His siblings can't stop crying."

"I'm coming, I'll be there in a bit."

"Okay, I'm sorry that we'd have to meet like this."

"I know, I'm sorry too. I'll be there in a half hour. When are his grandparents getting there?"

"They are on a flight from New York, should be here in the next couple of hours."

Liam sighed, "I'll be there. Don't worry."

Liam wiped his tears and looked to Andy who already knew what happened. He opened his arms and he let Liam sob into his chest. Liam was a bit incoherent so he offered to drive him the thirty minutes to the hospital. He helped Liam to the room and stood in the waiting room when he went to go find Harry who was in the room with the rest of Louis' family. His grandparents had arrived soon after so the doctors were getting ready to pull the plug, but Harry asked them if each person can have five minutes with Louis separately and to be there when they pronounced him.

Louis' siblings and new mother had the first, and all they heard was the loud sobs coming from the two young children and father. His mother had to pull his siblings off of him to get them to get out. Louis' grandparents were next and they weren't taking it too good since they hadn't seen Louis since he was ten and they didn't think this would be the way that they would have gotten to see him again, let alone it being the last.

Then next was Harry, he wanted Liam to go in with him, so he did. Harry walked to Louis' still body and tears fell as he saw the many scars on Louis' body. His blue eyes were staring up at the ceiling, they were lifeless and dull. It was as if he was already gone."

"Hey Lou, it's Harry and I have a friend who you would have been happy to meet. His name is Liam and he was the one who found your box. He wanted to try to help save you, but he wasn't fast enough. I'm so sorry for failing you all these years, I'm sorry for putting you through the trouble of everything. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Harry kissed his knuckles and then his forehead before he let Liam go and speak.

"I hate to think that this is how I'm going to remember meeting you. But, I guess this will have to do. I'll cherish everything that you left for me in your old house. I'll cherish all the secrets you shared for the rest of my life. I grew to actually fall for you, even though you'll always be the boy from the audiotapes. I'm sorry I could get her sooner." Liam kissed his forehead and then took the necklace from his neck and put it on Louis. It was a capital 'L' that Andy had gave him a long time ago, but he felt like Louis could utilize it wherever he goes.

The rest of them came back in and Andy stood to the back as he watched, his own tears trickling down his face. The doctor pressed the button that helped him breath and you could hear the heart monitor beep slower and slower as the minutes went on. Then all that was heard was a flat line sound, and Harry closes Louis eyes, pressing kisses to them as his tears fell to his face.

So, even though Louis would still forever be the boy from the audiotapes, Liam would never forget him and when he too passed away Louis would be waiting for him with open arms.

"What took you so long?" Louis asked as he finally got to hug the man he grew fond of over the years when he became his guardian angel, "Harry's been here for a year now."

"I know that, I was married to him." Liam rolled his eyes fondly.

"Why couldn't I get to marry you?"

"Who says we still can't? We have the rest of eternity with each other looking over three people I left behind."

Louis smiled and he knew he was finally home.

 

 

**_THE END._ **

 

 

 


	12. Epilogue #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, well... this is the end of a very LONG journey. I cannot thank you guys enough for all of the support on this story. I would have never thought that this story would have been this popular. Anyways, thanks for sticking by me when I barely updated for a while... but yeah.
> 
> Just remember I did not plan this ending... I did this one for the readers, but it was still fun to write. :)
> 
> _**Warning: sexual content and rape/abuse** _
> 
> Thank you for reading,
> 
> Hunter xx.

 

 

_[insert beginning of first epilogue here]_

_The therapy was actually working, at first Louis was a bit hesitant, but after sometime he started to trust everyone who was trying to help him. He thought that he would forever be a depressed boy, but he can surely say that he's getting better._

_He's even made some friends, people just like him, people who share the same kind of stories that he does. He even trusted his circle enough to spill his deepest secret._

_"It was almost a year ago when things started to go downhill, it was the night that I was raped. I was walking home and their was an alleyway that I usually take as a shortcut, but there were these drunk guys. It was the middle of the day and they were already completely out of it. I tried to get away from them, but they were stronger than me." Louis took a shaky breath before he continued, "They left me in the alley barely conscious and I managed to hobble home. My fucking mother laughed in my face when I got home, she didn't care that I was basically bleeding, and told me to clean myself up. My teacher who I trusted wanted to help me but since I washed away the evidence they wouldn't have ever been able to find the men who did it. So, I have to live my life knowing that there are people who have probably hurt other people walking freely in the streets. I just wished I would have done something, something that would have potentially saved me from coming here. I've tried to end my life so many time_ _s because of that,_ _but there was always one thing that would prevent me."_

_A kid on Louis' left asked him the one question that made him pause longer than need, "What thing always prevented you?"_

_"It wasn't a thing, it was a person. A person who I've been in love with ever since I can remember, a person who doesn't love me the same way."_

_The kid frowned, "I'm sorry, but hey, just think of him as your own knight in shining armor."_

_Louis chuckled, "Yeah, you're right. He really is."_

_And Louis couldn't argue with that._

 

_**_

 

He found him, after all this time he finally found him. After he had got in contact with Louis' best friend Harry, he was going to meet up with him to finally meet Louis.

So, here Liam is in his car driving to where Harry said that Louis was. It was an outpatient rehab and he usually picks him up everyday after his therapy sessions. He felt like Louis would need a pick me up, so he told him that he would meet him on the side of the building a four, which was a half hour before Louis would get out.

Liam pulled up to the facility and spotted a tall lad with his hair up in a bun and sunglasses on. He parked his car next to Harry and the only thing that Harry could do was hug him, hard.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think that someone would have taken time out of their life and watch, read and listen to his story."

Liam shrugged, "In the beginning I didn't think that it would have overtaken as much of my life as it did, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. He intrigued me and I just wanted to save him."

They spent the next half hour talking about things, mainly Louis related, until Harry told Liam to go hide behind his truck so Louis wouldn't suspect anything.

Harry smiled as he spotted Louis coming towards him, "Hey love, how was therapy?"

Liam's heart stopped when he saw Louis, he was so much more beautiful than what he saw in the videos. His eyes were the bright blue they should have been and he looked genuinely happy and healthy. It made him smile to see that he's changed since the last video.

Louis smiled wide, a true smile, "It was really good. There was this new lad, Niall and he's really funny. He's got a boyfriend and he asked if I could hang out with him over this weekend, so would you like to tag along?"

Harry nodded, "Of course. Now, Lou, you remember those videos, audiotapes and letters you left in your old house?" he asked carefully, watching Louis sigh.

"Yeah, but I'm past that H," He pulled on his sleeves and fixed his glasses, "Why?"

"Because I want you to meet someone," Harry turned Louis towards the back of his truck where Liam walked out, "This is Liam, he came to find you. He watched, listened and read everything. He's come to be your knight in shining armor."

Louis heart ached, he already thought that Harry was his, but then again he could always have two of them...right?

Louis' eyes became glassy as he ran into Liam's arms. Harry watched fondly and moved to give them some alone time.

Liam held Louis tightly, "Hey, there's no need to cry, love."

"I'm happy, I'm crying because even though I'm better you still came to make sure I was. I'm happy because someone who I've never met cared about me."

Liam smiled, "Even if I couldn't meet you, I'd still care. I'd do this all again in a heartbeat."

Louis pulled back from Liam's chest and looked up into his eyes. He looked into the eyes and saw they were warm, they held so much care for the world and he couldn't help but continue to stare.

Liam looked into those eyes that he fell in love with since the beginning, the eyes that held so much hurt and longing for love.

Louis felt like he was at home in Liam's arms, and Liam was finally happy that he could hold Louis and not a bunch of old audiotapes.

So, the once broken teenager and the hopeful boy found a place in each other's heart, just like Harry had hoped.

**

_One year later..._

"Baby, slow down! Where are you taking me?" Liam shouted at Louis as he was being pulled to god knows where.

"Just stop asking questions and just follow me. And be careful, don't want you to trip."

"You should know me by now, I always manage to hurt myself."

Louis smiled as he turned around and kissed his lips, "Which is why I'm always here to patch you up."

"As am I." Liam smiled against Louis' lips.

Louis pulled away and Liam saw the evident blush on his cheeks, "Can I show you the place now?"

Liam nodded, "Lead the way...but no running please."

Louis pouted, "You're no fun, but fine, we'll go slower."

"That's all I ask."

Liam was in awe at what Louis was showing him, they were deep into the forest and Liam didn't think there would be a huge tree house in there. "How'd you find this?"

"When I was younger when my mother, after she went crazy, kicked me out of the house one night because I couldn't stop coughing for her to get her beauty sleep, even though she didn't need it, and I ended up here. I had a big blanket with me and it was dark and I didn't know where I was for the longest time until Harry pinged my phone to find me. Ever since then whenever I really needed to get away I'd always go here. If Harry couldn't find me in town, he'd go here and would always find me, after giving me time to myself. It's my safe haven."

Louis led him up the stairs and Liam smiled as he saw a bed and a wall filled with photographs of Louis and his family, plus Harry were scattered all over the wall. Liam saw a photo, it was one of the ones that Louis had left in his box, "I've seen this photo before." Liam pulled the exact same photo from his wallet and showed Louis, "It was one of the ones in the boxes, I never leave home without it."

Louis' eyes were glassy, "But, now you have the real thing."

"Who I never leave home without either."

Louis rolled his eyes, "Cheeky."

Liam chuckled, "You love me."

"Sadly."

Liam smiled and he grabbed Louis and pulled him close to him. He leaned down and started to kiss him as he backed him up to the bed. Louis landed on the bed with a soft thud and he watched as Liam pulled off his shirt and dropped his pants, seeing he had no boxers on.

Louis smirked and lifted up his hips, "I believe that I also need to be naked."

Liam looked down at Louis with blown eyes and he couldn't get Louis' pants off faster, smirking as he too wasn't wearing boxers, "Naughty boy."

Louis shrugged, "It's easier access to times like this." He pulled off his shirt, the necklace that laid on his chest twinkled in the moonlight.

Liam smiled and picked up the necklace, "I still remember when I gave this to you and then Andy got mad at me."

"Well, it was his gift and you gave it to me, I would be mad too you know."

"But, it does look better on you."

"Just fucking get on with this before I go soft."

Liam smirked and he grabbed the lube packet and condom from his jeans. He rolled on the condom and then put some of the lube on his fingers, "How stretched are you from earlier?"

Louis eyed him seductively, "Why don't you find out for yourself?" he spoke as he spread his legs for Liam.

Liam didn't respond as he entered in two fingers, finding Louis more stretched than he would have thought, "Feels like someone got themselves off before we left, did you plan on this happening?"

Louis' breath shuddered from the sudden intrusion, "Well, with you around I always have to be prepared for whatever."

Liam chuckled and just entered in his third finger jabbing it against his prostate getting a loud whimper like moan from Louis' lips. Liam teased Louis a bit more before he pushed himself inside of Louis, "Never going to get used to the stretch, have you gotten bigger every time?" Louis groaned out.

"I don't think I've grown since I was twenty, so that would be a no."

"I was just checking, never know with these drugs that are out these days."

Liam eyed him carefully, "And you think that I'd take drugs to make my dick bigger?"

"Well, you are quite bigger than most, so it could be poss-" Liam cut Louis off as he started to thrust into him, hard making him jolt up the bed.

"Oh, fuck!" Louis shouted as he gripped the bedsheets from the feeling of being stretched in the way that he likes. Louis grabbed Liam's face and kissed him, biting on his bottom lip when Liam found his prostate, targeting it dead on.

"Fuck baby, so good. I love you so fucking much."

"I love you toooo," Louis moaned out the last word as the familiar feeling was coming back to him in the pit of his stomach.

"Touch yourself baby, I know you want to."

Louis hesitantly reached down in between their bodies and grabbed his dick and started to stroke himself against Liam's thrusts. He wasn't stroking himself that fast as he wanted to come around the same time that Liam would, so he kept his pace just a tad slower. "Faster, please, faster," he moaned out as he thumbed the tip of his dick, using the precome to prevent too much friction on himself.

Liam gripped his hips a bit harder and angled his hips a bit more onto his prostate as he went faster and harder.

"Fuck, Liam!" Louis moaned out very loudly as he spilled in between their chests and Liam just continued to thrust into him until he too came himself.

Liam kissed Louis as he came down from his high and looked into his eyes, "Always just as great as the first time."

Louis smiled, "Gets better everytime."

"I know a way I could make this even better," He said as he pulled out of Louis and tied off the condom.

Louis sat up and grabbed a paper towel and wiped himself off, "How so?" And when he looked up, Liam had a light blue box opened and he was sort of on one knee in front of Louis.

"When I first found your box I didn't know what I was getting into and frankly I'm glad that I did because I got to meet the best thing that's ever happened to me. Louis William Tomlinson, will you marry me?"

A few tears trickled down his face as he nodded, "Yes." Liam slipped the ring onto his finger and kissed him softly.

And if they went for round two, well only they would know.

_3 years later..._

"So, do you, Liam James Payne take thee, Louis William Tomlinson to be your husband?" The priest asked Liam who couldn't keep his eyes off of Louis dressed in all white, save for the boutonniere on his jacket that was bright blue.

"I do," Liam spoke back, smiling.

"And do you, Louis William Tomlinson take thee, Liam James Payne to be your husband?" The priest asked Louis this time who eyed Liam up who was dressed in a similar tuxedo, but in grey.

Louis nodded, a tear escaping his eye, "I do." Liam thumbed away the tear just as the priest told them they could kiss.

Liam grabbed Louis face and kissed him, the memories that they had made the past few years flooded back to his mind. He really couldn't be happier.

"I now present to you, Mr. and Mr. Liam James Payne."

The once depressed teenager was now happy, nothing could bring him down. And well, that was the life of a Louis Tomlinson who was saved by his knight and shining armor, Liam Payne.

 


End file.
